I wanted to give back to the community so I considered helping the mentally disabled cross the street safely.

Next I decided that I needed something more fullfilling and challanging so I decided to become a small plane pilot. I chose small planes so that if I crashed there wouldn't be much damage if I hit a building, water tower or unsuspecting farm animal.

But then while on vacation, and hyper from my double cappuccino-frapa-mocha-latte', I jumped on a dirt-bike and instantly fell in love with the noisey raw power and the uncontrollable speed.

I was completely dedicated to dirt-bike racing until an hour later when I got the chance to buckle my four point harness into a four-wheeled, 800hp, speed nightmare.

However, a dangerously close call of almost spilling my drink while starting the car changed my mind toward all speed racing. To drown my grief I decided to get a grease-burger at the local Hooters. Seeing that all the waitresses got to wear 100% cotton breatheable tops with real polyester shorts made me decide on a new career path once again.